If I Ran the Silly Bandz Plant for Just One Day...

Brace yourselves Beliebers. Toledo-based Silly Bandz has announced that Justin Bieber-themed versions of the bracelet will be in stores sooner than you can say, "shouldn't he have hit puberty already?"


As you can see, the Biebz' bandz  include outlines of his pre-pubescent silhouette, his trademark gangsta' hat, a Bieberized heart tattoo, and more. So, kiddies, grab these while you can. It won't be too long before JB's Silly Bandz include a Bret Michaels bandana, a few strands of stray facial hair, and tears.


In light of this new development, I've come up with a few examples of how I would package Silly Bandz for other celebrities (and quasi celebrities), should they be so lucky to receive this prestigious honor.

Lady Gaga: Includes a microphone, piano, bubbles, cigarette covered sunglasses, a little monster claw, and a question mark
Miley Cyrus: A guitar, a blonde wig, a Jonas brother, a fake ID, and a special, limited edition dollar bill bracelet connected to a Billy Ray Cyrus silhouette (this particular bracelet is made of a special, unbreakable rubber material manufactured in Texas)
Kelly Clarkson: A liquor bottle, an outline of Texas, and a musical note that changes from pink to black to yellow depending on your mood
Barack Obama: A podium, an outline of the White House, and an outline of Hawaii. These bandz also change colors, but not the colors you want. Strong enough for billionaire kids, but made for the middle class.
The Situation: An outline of washboard abs, a fist, a washing machine, and tanning lotion (*please note that you may develop a rash if worn too long.)
Perez Hilton: A standard pack includes a laptop, pink hot pants, a rolled dollar bill, a silhouette of Will.I.Am., and pond scum (*please note that all Perez Hilton Silly Bandz come limp, shriveled, and smaller than the traditional Silly Bandz you're used to. They also break easily.)

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